Tuesday, June 14, 2016

2015大事會顧‧下集

要多謝嘅人實咗太多,但係有幾位真係都想多謝多次。

老公,老竇,姑姐。媽咪唔喺香港,你哋就係我最親嘅人。特別係姑姐,小坐月時姑姐幫我周圍去買石崇魚買家美雞,山長水遠攞嚟我屋企,仲叫埋外援嚟煮飯比我食。堅感動!你第時老咗我會陪你去睇醫生架!

我想多謝Clarice,咁啱佢又坐緊月,當時又住得好近。佢share咗好多資料比我。其實最重要係佢陪我傾計,一齊食lunch。心地好好又同我溝通到嘅朋友。真係啱晒時間地點人物上天派比我嘅一個天使。

天使二號仲有瑪蓮娜,一個好耐無contact嘅老朋友。佢知道我要休養後主動contact我分享養生心得。蒸腳燉湯嘅詳盡資料,係好warm嘅。

當然仲有我愛嘅flask mod,TH,bitches,幾個好好嘅同事,一班好有緣份識到嘅QM姊妹。每日聽我呻,唔只當時,而家都係。

當中亦都有失望嘅,以為係好好好好嘅朋友,但約咗又甩底。同佢講我好depress好失望,之後不了了知。一直無聯絡。我之後有reach out過,但係都無回音。只能說,人大咗好多事唔使強求。希望有緣嘅第時會做得返朋友。

就係咁,坐喺度一個人會無啦啦喊嘅日子好快過去。好快又開始日日飲中藥,定期去針灸,勤浸腳,多運動,介生冷嘢,食supplements。休養三個月後又再挑戰IVF。好似心願未了咁,心急去試,唔想再等。

* * * * *

2015年9月尾開始從新出發,再開始打針。有上次經驗,今次定咗好多,唔怕針唔怕副作用。頭暈頭痛無胃口腫脹無難度。但係打針反應唔理想,一直都只係得三粒卵泡有反應,其他太細無乜用 (正常通常有十幾粒)。





















到抽卵當日,醫生幫我盡抽,都係得6粒。講明有啲好細應該無卵用。我明。人哋通常有十幾粒,會有六成左右培植成胚胎,就有大概十個八個機會放胎等成功著床,每次成功率得30%。我心諗,如果我有三四個胎比我放就好了。返屋企休息兩日後返醫院放榜。

放榜日,一早同老公去到醫院,見姑娘,安排放胎。胚胎係有5個grade嘅,睇吓分裂到幾多個cell,分得靚唔靚仔而定。入房見姑娘,姑娘好平靜咁話我哋知有一個胚胎。係,係得一個。仲要係grade 4胎,唔多合格的。姑娘叫我唔好唔開心,有好多grade 4都會成功嘅,佢好珍貴,因為我得一千零一粒。去樓下食啲嘢就安排放胎啦。

又可能係打針太多荷爾蒙影響,情緒有啲失控。食早餐時我忍唔住一路食一路喊。點解做咁多嘢成績都係咁差?得一粒唔合格嘅胎。Grade 1 應該有6-8個cells,我呢粒有3個cells。正常人做IVF有十個八個機會先有30%成功,我得一個唔合格嘅機會。好似已經判咗死刑咁。忍住唔爆喊,唔想影響老公心情。老公見到同我講,唔好咁,我哋要對呢粒胎有信心,因為佢係我哋嘅!上到病房,我都仲喊緊。同房隔離床嗰太太安慰我唔好喊,一陣驚親bb。佢話有得放已經好好,今朝有個放榜太太應該無得放,係大堂喊到好慘。又諗起老公話要有信心,慢慢冷靜返。放胎手術好快。推返我返房個阿姐叫我生咗返去請佢食薑醋,好好人!醫療團隊能夠為我做嘅就去到放胎呢一步。要等兩個星期先知結果。著床係好奇妙嘅事,要睇佢自己造化。

呢兩個星期係人生最漫長嘅兩個星期。好易會亂諗嘢。又打定輸數睇其他IVF要幾錢,我負唔負擔得起做第二次。早晚塞藥,有啲感覺就以為m到自己驚自己。心理壓力好大。諗起老公話要有信心,呢粒胎好珍貴,我開始叫佢做阿珍!好不容易到咗可以驗孕嗰日啦!屋企有一枝好耐之前買落,一直無機會用嘅驗孕棒,攞出嚟試,可能擺得太耐唔work!!!當日返工前買咗枝新嘅,急不及待係公司試!好friend個兩三個同事知道嘅都燈我好好好緊張!結果係,我真係中咗!喊到我呢。今次係開心喊,平復咗先同同事報喜。佢哋衝咗入廁所我哋開心到個個都喊晒!佢話自己有咗都無咁激動!



就係咁我就正式有咗黃珍珍啦!我知道我真係好好彩。好多人試好多次IVF,無原因無解釋都唔成功。有好多胚胎又可能無一個著床。一次又一次嘅心理壓力比皮肉之苦更大。中獎之後又有好多關要過。懷孕的確又係另一個課題。好感恩今日嚟到38週。珍珍還未出世,一日未見到佢一日都仲會擔心。希望珍珍叻女啲,要平安來臨。

Monday, June 13, 2016

2015大事回顧‧私隱篇‧上集

大概記錄了2010至2014的事。量體溫嘅溫度計都換咗2次怕度唔準。食過嘅中藥一定比飲過嘅酒多,係多好L多!唔買包包嘅錢留返晒去睇醫生。好似好折墮,的確係。中西醫都睇到熟晒,啲姑娘都friend埋,都係未中獎。終於等到見生育科醫生,挨過照dye x-ray,終於知道原來塞卵咗!做全身麻醉手術通卵返,康復後又一條好漢。當時係2014年尾,咁就過咗5年喇。

2015年繼續日日食中藥繼續針灸,已經成為生活嘅一部份。無數枝針,得到嘅係好多張selfies。



努力嘗試半年都係得個吉!六月開始食避孕藥reset cycle,2015年7月初,開始IVF療程。打針。第一次自己打針時睇住個肚5分鐘都落唔到手,最後只好狠心打落去。一個星期後去覆診,醫生話我d指數好奇怪,即時安排驗血。做完yoga下晝收到醫院通知,驗血結果孕指數14000,即是有咗8星期宮外孕,有生命危險。叫我聽日即時入院要做手術。咁點解之前check唔到?本來喺黎做人工受孕,聽日要切除輸卵管打胎手術。坐咗係Pure爆喊成個鐘。DKLM咁我之前捱嗰五針為乜?點解之前兩次ultrasound都睇唔到?做做吓IVF要即時入院打胎,超級反高潮。一路返屋企一路喊。老公即時返到屋企我又喊。



心痛。

7月12號。做完手術出嚟,全身麻醉藥未散。不停振。姑娘推返我入房,喺病房門口就迷糊地見到老公同我老竇等緊我。嗰一刻好感動。過床時好痛好痛。佢哋入到嚟睇我,我開始喊得好犀利。我話比佢哋知我好傷心。講唔到其他嘢。

可能係又打IVF針,有宮外孕,荷爾蒙影響個人情緒好down。出院後喺屋企一個人小坐月,心情唔可以只用差嚟形容。食食吓飯會流眼淚。傷口好痛,自己用唔到力起身。好無助。

係呢個時間,對你好嘅人你會完全感覺到。老公,家人,朋友嘅關心係心靈最大嘅靈藥。你會發現原來有好多天使喺你身邊支持你。

TBC.

The Journey Since 2010

2010. The year that I was still partying and enjoying life as I should, and secretly wanting to start a new chapter of my life as a mother. Little do people know that I had that thought since most of my friends were still single and partying every weekend. Having a child and being domesticated were so far away. Yet we started trying.

2011. Annual gyn visit. Told the doc we've been trying (not too seriously) but nothing happens. She said I was still young, just give it some time. So I waited. Still thinking I was still young and had all the time in the world.

2012. Still nothing happens. Kinda took my mind off this topic and just went with the flow. Living live as-is. Content. Also started my current job that travels quite a bit. Pushing Project B down the priority list. Yet never gave up on trying.

2013. Starting to get serious and went to see Chinese Doc. Since a few friends have had their first child and said Chinese meds would help reset the body balance, blah blah, and they all bingo within a few months on Chinese meds. So I did. Spending 1-2 hours at a time with this Chinese Doc that has a long ass wait even you made an appointment in advance. People all told me Chinese meds takes a while for you to see a difference. So I gave this doc 9 months time. Still nothing happened. She's a very patient lady, spent time to talk to you, understand your mental and physical problem and not just to see you for a minute and then sent you home with meds. To her credit, she's a great Chinese Doc. All I had to say was, she wasn't for me. I did my part for going on the what I called The Asian Diet-- no cold food & drinks. Not religiously but cut it down significantly.

2014. Switched to 2 other Chinese Doc. Meanwhile seeing a new Gyn Doc for 2nd opinion. Getting desperate. Taking temperature every morning before I even get out of bed. Stopped drinking cold drinks, no raw and cold food, exercising regularly, cut down alcohol intake, quit smoking. Seeing Chinese doc & Gyn Don religiously. Seemed like I did everything I could.

Thank god for my 3rd and final Chinese Doc, Doctor Angel Ho, she gave the most precious advises. She's helped me mentally and physically and gave me a lot of information about fertility. What to ask the gyn when I visited, when to visit, scientific reports and what they meant, what should I do after a few months. What were follicles numbers and sizes and the standard.  All the temperature charts shows normal cycle pattern. Ultrasound was normal, follicles were normal. Went back for ultrasound after a few months with new Chinese Doc and showed an improvement as well. Everything seems to be on track,  just don't know why nothing's happening. The new Gyn Doc even gave me 6 months ovulation prescription to boost chances.

Doctor Ho also told me to get in queue for Queen Mary fertility treatment as the wait for private line takes up to a year for first consultation. Doesn't hurt to queue up first and maybe I'd be lucky not to go there before I get my first consultation. Why QM? She said from all her patients, Queen Mary has the higher success rate and they are not commercial and won't tell you to do things that you don't need, just for your money like other private clinics. The public queue's about 3 years wait. If I can afford to pay the private price, I should go for QM private service. Eventually, my mind was set for IVF if nothing happens in between. Didn't bother to get my Fallopian tubes checked to avoid the pain and $, since I'll be going thru IVF if nothing happens anyway.

2014 September. Queen Mary first consultation. After 3-4 years of trying. This appointment seemed like the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Where I didn't know what's going on, what's wrong with me, and what should I do next? By rules, both of us have to show up for a seminar to understand the procedure, as a team, and have consensus to sign up for the procedure before first consultation with the doctor. We showed up at 2pm. The clinic was empty. Something seemed wrong. about 20 mins later, a crowded of people walked in. The nurse returned to the reception and I found out the seminar has ended! So happened that they changed the time to 1pm and they supposed to have left me a voice message that I never got! I was about to cry knowing that I missed the seminar and therefore cannot proceed to first consultation the same day. The nurse said seminars are all full as well... asked us to wait and will call my name to give me a new date. That was about the worst feeling in the world, that you don't even get a chance to proceed. Minutes later, the nurse managed to squeeze me into another seminar a week later. That few minutes though, it felt much longer than it really was.

2014 October. Queen Mary first consultation round 2. Took another half day off for this. Listened to the seminar and understood what this procedure is about, what are the emotional stresses are ahead of us. Yet, I was so ready for the pain and stress. We said we'd give it a try, success rate's 30%, even if we failed, at least we tried. I chose Professor Ng as my doctor as I heard good things about him. He spotted right away that my Fallopian tube might be blocked, just by ultrasound. This finding was new to me, not spotted by my 2 other gyn docs before. He asked if I want to proceed with IVF right away or unblock the tubes and try for another 6 months naturally. I asked for his advice and he gave us a lecture for about 20 minutes on why naturally conceived babies are better, and that I'm still young (under 35 to him is considered young) and should try to solve the issue and try for another 6 month as over 80% of couple could fall preggo without any issues. It's clear that I should listen to him. Then scheduled a Fallopian tube dye x-ray to confirm, while already scheduled operation in December to unblock the tube(s).

2014 November. Due to my travel schedule, I missed the dye x-ray in October as you could only go on a certain day of your cycle. Stressful but can't help that I had a job to do. So in November I went for the famous dye x-ray. Everyone said it'd hurt like a BIATCH as they inject dye in you for the x-ray, to confirm if the tubes were blocked. I was in operation outfit in a cold operation room. QM's x-ray operation rooms were so advanced, I was more impressed then scared. Okay, I was scared. Many deep breathes and I made it through. Painful but manageable. The doc confirmed that both sides were blocked. No wonder I couldn't fall preggo all these years.

2014 December. Scheduled surgery day to unblock my tubes. Told work that I'd be having a small surgery to remove unwanted stuff in me. Didn't give any specifics as there's always a line in between work and your private plan. Struggles of all working women. What I thought was a small procedure, ended up more serious than I thought. I was given 3 weeks sick leave after the full anesthesia surgery that costed me over $40k. Micro insertions hurt more than I expected during the recovery process. Professor Ng said both tubes were unblocked and reconstructed. However, it might get stuck to itself again. See you in 6 months if nothing happens and good luck!

New hope. New me. Thinking I was then capable of conceiving.

TBC.





The Journey @week 38





















Awaiting for my baby to arrive. Shouldn't be long until we meet. It's been a long journey since we're trying to have a baby. Way too long and many struggles. Things that made us appreciate life even more. Can't wait to spent the rest of my life cherishing you <3 nbsp="" p="">

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Meet Up 義工團探訪老友記第一擊之元洲邨


第一次Meet Up。第一次探訪老人家。第一次見識老人公屋單位。第一次feel到互動的窩心。

雙下巴係我朋友圈內義工的始祖,所有Meet Up呀Hands On 呀都係佢介紹我嘅。上兩個禮拜突然心血來潮上Meet Up睇,見到有探訪老人活動就好似呼喚著我般不能抗拒邀請,膽粗粗就RSVP咗。跟住雙下巴又二話不説又同我去。

到Meet Up當日,一班唔識嘅人全無記認係相約地點集合。企係度周圍望好似等緊人嗰啲就係團友嘞。一齊行去老人中心聽社工briefing。Basic的不能網上公開與受訪者相片呀,唔好話"我下次再來找你"呀,有咩要注意等等。之後兩個人一組,安排探訪地址,攞有心人士贊助的月餅生果就出發。

第一站係探一對年老父女。去到時只得老伯喺屋企。佢個女去咗執紙皮。伯伯話佢個女日日都出去,自力更生好勤力!老伯好開朗,好叻仔!最記得佢話呢度d街坊好幫忙,又會日日約飲茶一人請一日。每日一早都會三五成群落樓下樹下乘涼。又話電話騙䅁呃唔到佢。

第二站嘅"婆婆"簡直係上天派來同反做我個義工嘅天使!姐姐睇落似五十幾歳,原來有七十。日日行四五個鐘頭山,好多活動又有班啱key朋友。比巴黎珍更巴黎珍,樂天過樂天熊仔餅!佢以前喺一間學旁邊賣咗廿年豬腸粉,睇住好多學生哥長大。又話以前嘅香港人很包容,小販都有生存空間。只要肯做就可以為生。仲叫我地要善待人,多d包容開心面對所以嘢。總之佢完全開解咗我!我地走嗰陣不停多謝姐姐,佢由頭至尾都超好笑容。總之好high!

最後一站係一個老婆婆,佢係三個之中最灰嘅。行動不太方便,嚟開門時都幾吃力。言談間一心唔想麻煩人,一個人住一切從簡。牆上有好多年輕時嘅靚相,的確好靚。原來婆婆以前係磨Del!有好多嘢唔記得但係好記得想當年喺彌敦道一間叫紅棉嘅影樓做生招牌。

探訪完後take比give更多!要互助包容同埋記住令自己一世都開心嘅事。

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Still Dodgeball-ing

Women Div2 has boost my confidence and getting comfy on catching! My rare solid catch in women's Div1 game last night. OMG so happy! Hee

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

這個冬天Dry都爆2之:超好用DIY 面霜

朋友建議我用雪花秀,話超潤用咗皮膚好靚!正當我準備跌落$深淵嘅時候,我個facial姐姐話佢係好work,不過含鉛量好高,唔可以長期使用。有好多護膚品都好多chemicals,塊面積聚越多會越來越差。話晒我都係個崇尚天然嘅人,聽完之後對雪花秀有啲保留。Facial姐姐仲叫我睇多啲美容資訊,唔好聽人話咩嘢好用就攞自己塊面嚟試。跟手就開始介紹佢賣緊個條organic skin care line... 下刪三百字。我一被人sell就乜都聽唔入耳,好快就離開現場喇。

Facial姐姐都唔係無道理,事因實在頂唔順自己塊面越來越多細紋,呢幾日不停research有咩護膚品又natural又好用。發現原來好多人都DIY!自己整skin care可以好肯定所有ingredients 都係天然嘢,無化學品。用咗好多時間上網學整face cream同埋eye cream,又睇咗好多essential oils同唔同base oils嘅功效同用法,越睇越high!又問過一個學過香薰治療嘅朋友意見,決定自己試吓整!

我照 A Blossoming Life  嘅做法,搵齊材料就即刻返屋企整呢隻"miracle" night cream 啦!

  • 1/2 tsp beeswax
  • 1 tsp coconut oil
  • 2 tbs almond oil
  • 1/2 tsp of shea butter (or you can just use more coconut oil)
  • 1 tsp vitamin e oil
  • 1/4 cup aloe vera gel
  • 1 tsp honey (Try to get some local honey if possible)
  • 5-10 drops lemon essential oil
  • 1/2 tsp bentonite clay
全部材料都係對皮膚好好架!抗氧化抗衰老滋潤去皺!總之就堅啦!















照A Blossoming Life 嘅做法,將頭四樣材料煮溶溝埋,再放埋一邊等佢凍返去好似潤唇膏咁嘅texture。





















喺另一隻碗將第五至第八樣材料混和。




















將兩兜嘢mix埋再加最後嘅bentonite clay等佢杰身啲。呢個過程切忌用金屬碗金屬匙!





















佢係夜霜嘅原因係有lemon essential oil。用咗檸檬精華油就唔可以曬。所以如果要整day cream就唔好落檸檬精華就ok喇!睇咗七七四十九個youtube DIY片之後嘅總結係可以加少少用開嘅sunscreen做日霜嘅。

用後感:用少少就好夠!初初搽上面覺得太油,但係好快就吸晒!夜晚瞓覺前用絕對ok!而且好香,會keep注用!

Recipe credit: A Blossoming Life 
Where to buy ingredients in Hong Kong: Shiu Shing Hong

Monday, December 29, 2014

這個冬天Dry到爆1

大概是到了青春不再唔補好易老的年紀,今個冬天好似特別乾。面上嘅細紋好清楚地話我知一直以來嘅護膚routine已經唔work!

同美容達人朋友求救,佢即時介紹咗呢隻超平eye patch比我!一合有成60片,都只係$138!日日用都可以用成個月,每日都係$4.6!而家用咗幾日,無話特別正,但係心理上肯定好過咗!有敷好過無敷嘅定律咁囉!等我用咗一個月再比個包膠大家啦!


Friday, August 22, 2014

Flower Power- a guide to office survival

So... a few days ago, I told my colleagues that we should totally do a theme for Friday casual wear day. Let's all wear floral prints! Something Hawaiian! Yeahhhh! Totally!!!

They were like... for what? That's really moliu lor.

Fine.

So today, I came into work in my very 80s jeans short jacket, complimenting my tight black long top showing off my curves. Non-floral. As soon as I walked in, I saw people in Hawaiian dresses, floral tops, floral lace knits... you get the idea. Those floral ladies came up to me and looked from head to toe trying to spot my floral print. PISSED. Walked off and saying loudly how I didn't go with the dress code while I told them to.

Oops. Sorry! (千頌伊 tone)

Constant bitching all morning from varies women actually got me feeling a little bit guilty. So during lunch before I rush for my Body Pump class, I went to Zara and grabbed a floral blouse, pumped & showered, then put on my new top. Then I thought I needed to go an extra mile to avoid pissing of women from the office. So I rushed to LKF to the staircase up to Levelz, where there's a florist there during day light (this is new for some of you clubbers I know). Counted and bought each and everyone of them a flower. Then rushed back to the office. Very productive lunch break!

At the sight of the flowers, those angry women were suddenly tamed! Go flower power!

Conclusion
Number 1: never pissed any woman off in the office.
Number 2: when in doubt, send flowers.
Number 3: if i'm a man, I'd be a ladies' man. LOL

Happy Friday everyone!



Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Dance Love Pray

Happy Anniversary MoDac!